Don’t judge the way you look. Love the woman in the mirror. Here’s how.
BY NATHALIE PLAMONDON-THOMAS
Exercise to some women is difficult and eating healthy is an even bigger challenge. Furthermore, some women believe that, despite immeasurable motivation, lost weight will return—with interest. If you find yourself on a constant diet, wondering what is wrong with you, finding clothes that fit, or avoid the reflection in the mirror like the plague, don’t worry, you’re not alone.
SOCIETY Vs. SELF-IMAGE
Our society has been a major contributor on how we perceive ourselves. We seek to conform to a media-driven ideal of beauty. The fact is weight standards presented in the media are completely unattainable for most women. The unrealistic body shapes displayed are more likely well below what is considered a healthy body weight.
These cyber-beauties make it difficult for women to achieve any level of contentment with their physical appearance. According to Brown University, studies show that 74.4 per cent of normal-weight women and 46 per cent of men think about their weight or appearance “all the time” or “frequently.” Body image seems to be a widespread preoccupation.
Remember that your self-worth comes from inside. It isn’t connected to the fact that there is an evident gap between your body and the ones seen in the media. Change your mindset and use the information presented in order to make yourself feel great and empowered. Aim for your own realistic healthy version of yourself. Your own best is plenty enough to make you feel great.
SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY
Negative limiting beliefs about ourselves rule our behaviours. Though food and exercise are both important in your weight loss journey, changing your eating and exercising habits at the behaviour level won’t be enough. You have to change your values and beliefs, not just your behaviours. You know healthy recipes and you know how to exercise. Yet, knowledge is useless without practice. If you don’t actually eat healthy food and avoid exercise, then all the recipes and workout routines will be useless. The problem needs to be addressed at the source, at the belief level.
Weight loss begins in the mind, with what you are programmed to love or hate. If you believe that you’re fat, your mind will hear a variety of negative messages constantly. “I have a big gut,” “I am fat,” or “I have big thighs”. These constant reminders become false truths, thus when alternate, more positive messages fuelling change are heard, they are quickly disregarded. How can change begin when the mind is constantly weighed down with such negativity? It is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The brain is at the base of your actions as the mind and body are connected. You get whatever you focus on. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) demonstrates how your self-talk programs your brain. NLP is an approach to communication, personal development and psychotherapy created by Richard Bandler and John Grinder in California, U.S., in the 1970s.
With a mindset of being overweight, your brain won’t ask you to workout or eat healthy food; it will keep you overweight, because that is what you are conditioning yourself to be.
REPROGRAM YOUR MIND
Reprogramming your mind is similar to renovating your kitchen. There are a few steps to follow.
STEP ONE: DESIRE
For a renovation, you would need to assess what you want and decide on your budget. What room will make the most impact and will give you the most satisfaction? Decide on what you want to work on first and determine your vision of the new room.
Likewise, the first step to a well-programmed mind is to know what you want.
❯ Decide what you want to work on. What is important to you?
❯ Dedicate your efforts to one goal at a time.
❯ Dare. Elicit exactly what you want and write it down in a detailed way, aim to have lots of choices and opportunities. Form a clear outcome.
❯ Avoid what you don’t want and focus on what you desire.
STEP TWO: CHANGE
Let’s say, you have decided to make changes to your kitchen. Before installing new cupboards, the first step is to dispose of the existing ones. There is a demolition phase before new cupboards are installed.
The second step in brain reprogramming is to clean up and dispose of unwanted emotions, behaviours and beliefs in order to make room for what you want to implement in your life.
Turn negative into positive.
Determine what beliefs need to change. Take a moment to rephrase your limiting beliefs about weight loss and watch yourself transform. For example, “‘I can’t lose weight’—says who?” Commit to losing weight and accept any challenges or difficulties that may come to pass during your journey.
Neutralize the past.
Take a moment to acknowledge everything you have learned so far. All the negative experiences around your weight resulted in positive learning lessons. Once you have accepted the learning, you can let go of the negative emotions and move on to a much brighter future.
STEP THREE: ACHIEVE
Now, with a clear and empty room, all you need to do is fill up your kitchen with new floors, brand new cupboards and paint your walls in fresh colours.
Once clean of negativity, the third step in mind reprogramming is to achieve your goals by installing your new desires and programming your new attitude.
Identify the trigger for past-unwanted behaviours. Visualize yourself at the trigger moment and white out the usual response. Replace it with a new behaviour.
For example, imagine you are sitting in the living room and get hungry. First, you eat a small snack and get a temptation to grab another one. The old behaviour would be to satisfy your cravings with another snack. Being mindful of what you eat—without condemnation—is a very useful tool in losing weight.
Re-think your old behaviours into new, more serving habits.
BODY DYSMORPHIC DISORDER
Sometimes poor body image can lead to a serious medical concern. The constant worry, or obsession, that something is wrong with the way we look is called body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). According to Rhode Island Hospital, BDD is a common, under-recognized and often severe, psychological disorder. BDD interferes with people’s daily life, creating low self-esteem and anxiety. If you think that you suffer from BDD, consult your doctor for an accurate diagnosis as well as treatment options.
ASK FOR HELP
To some extent, society does affect our self-image and distorts our self-worth. Being aware of this fact and identifying the limiting beliefs that were created as a result of our exposure to such an unrealistic ideal is the first step towards our long-term change. Instead of focusing on behaviours, start working from the inside. Remember that your brain will execute your thoughts. Also, remember that you are not alone. Seek the help from a trained councillor or doctor who can help you achieve a healthy body image. VM